Pandemic Reflections

Where were you when the lockdowns were first announced?

2020 was a globally jarring year, and its impact still has a grasp on the world five years later. There was a lot of fear and uncertainty, with new information being thrown left and right and ever-changing updates in terms of rules, regulations and lockdowns.

And now, five years since the chaos that was 2020, this year is oddly reminiscent of the dreaded year this blog post is referring to. Without seeming too much like a conspiracy theorist, it is intriguing that many of the things that happened during the 2020 pandemic, are now occurring in 2025. Between dates aligning (given that both years began on a Wednesday) and the looming presence of ‘covid 2.0’ being warned, it feels like major déjà vu.

Who knows what 2025 is going to bring?

Before writing any further, let us all agree that this is not a politically motivated post. I do not care to write about the whether the lockdowns were the right cause of action or if vaccinations are a scam conjured up by Big Pharma. This is not about that. Nothing can change what happened in 2020, and this is merely a timely reflection of what was a very unexpected turn of events within my lifetime as a small business owner.

With that in mind, let us continue…

When the lockdowns were initially announced, I felt so overwhelmed. The news of covid-19 had been looming over our heads and the lockdowns being put into effect made ‘the plague’ feel like the real deal for the first time. There was information everywhere and no one really knew what to do about it – me included.

In the present day, I will see this question come up on my social media feed: Where were you when the lockdowns were first announced?

I have a distinct memory of sitting on my bedroom floor, two moves before the house I live in now. My bedroom had murky blue walls and bright yellow curtains (all which were our landlord’s choice) and the building was truly a sneeze away from collapsing due to significant termite damage.

I remember sitting on my carpet, staring at my phone as I scrolled through incoming information. News headlines, friend’s posts, and of course the occasional meme outlining the disaster.

I felt a lot of fear and uncertainty at the time, and even more so annoyance of the pandemic’s timing. I was not even a year into running my small business (officially opened on the 1st of July 2019) and I had been thrown into a global pandemic. I did not know what this would mean for me, and I certainly did not know what this would mean for markets.

Our stall set up during our first Blakes Crossing Market. So much has changed in 5 years!

Prior to the announcement of an Australia-wide lockdown, we had been to our first market at the Blakes Crossing Market and loved it. And shortly afterwards, the pandemic seemed to tear it away from my hands.

Additionally, it did not take long before the other market we were regularly attending at the time was paused until further notice. I received an apologetic call from one of the market organisers saying that the market would not be held that weekend due to new restrictions.

2020 was challenging as a small business owner. Restrictions were changing constantly. I did not know for sure what markets I would be having when. It was frustrating to be booked in for one, then days later have the market cancelled. And it was even more frustrating when restrictions were lifted but the market had to be cancelled due to poor weather conditions. It just felt like the world was kicking us every chance we got!

At the markets we could attend, the pandemic was a great source of panic. We had begun selling crochet shawls, particularly one known as the Virus Shawl. This shawl has been around well before covid-19 was even thought of, and the name is unrelated to anything medical. It is simply called that because the stitch makes up so quickly, hence ‘spreading like a virus’.

Of course, with the aftershocks of the pandemic, the name is still quite jarring. Every time someone asks us about the shawl, we preface that it has nothing to do with the recent pandemic after receiving many alarmed looks from the name.

We even had an encounter at the One Tree Hill Country Market some years ago of being scolded by calling it such a horrid name. Despite explaining that we could not change the name of the shawl (given it is not our pattern), she was still adamant that we should call it something nicer, such as the ‘Heavenly Shawl’ or the ‘Owl Face Shawl’. It took another stall holder to be able to calm her down enough to drop the issue, and this disgruntled customer has not spoken to us since, even though she is a regular to the market.

The virus shawl - in the colour rosewater cocktail!

I can laugh about it now, but at the time it was baffling needing to argue with a customer over not wanting to be sued over the name of a shawl. It was a consequence of the pandemic that had never occurred to me, and even to this day, I find myself internally recoiling when anyone asks about the virus shawl – because I know what is coming next. Thankfully, most people are reasonable, even with the shawl’s rather unfortunate name.

A more expected predicament of the pandemic involved Australia Post. With adjustments being made to Australia Post regulations, there were some packages that I could not send out without significant delays. It made me feel like a failure as a small business owner by not being able to provide quick and quality service – even if it was out of my hands entirely.

At the time of the pandemic, I had not yet been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. This would come 18 months later.

Reflecting on the pandemic, I see how much those times really fuelled my specific work-related anxieties that I was not even aware I had. The uncertainty of the state of the world was perfect fodder for my anxiety to not only worry about the future but make me feel guilty for ‘how poorly’ I felt I was coping with unprecedented times. Of course, round and round that cycle went, adding to the stresses and playing into the chronic health issues I have.

Had I known then what I know now, life would have been easier. But hindsight is a wonderful thing, isn’t it?

"WTF is happening?" - A question that is still prevalent during 2025.

I can now look back at 2020 and say: I did the right thing. I can look back at that year and honestly proclaim that I did what I could with the very limited resources I had at the time. I can say that I tried my best in what was frightening and confusing times and above all else, managed to survive.

With the 5-year anniversary of the pandemic looming over us, I think about the possibility of a second pandemic. Having survived a first, I feel more internally capable of navigating a second. Knowing what I know now, if another pandemic occurs, I have a feeling it will be different than the first. I feel that people will treat it differently (though that is not necessarily a good thing). But I suppose we will have to see what happens, should another pandemic break free and cause more havoc. With all that said, it is hard to even call the first pandemic ‘over’ when it still among us. These are strange times we are living in.

Remind me: Where in the small business handbook were the instructions for a global pandemic? Did I miss a chapter?

Let’s take a breath.

Whatever happens this year, and every year that follows, all I ask is that you take care of one another. We are in unusual times, mounted by uncertainty and fear. We need each other, so be kind.

Kimberley (they/them)

Accessories by Antoinette